New Year, New Face

I am currently sitting down and exhausted.  I absolutely loved this holiday season as much as possible when not seeing our extended families.  It was season of introspection of our blessings.  This time six years ago I was lost and hanging on to any familiarity that provided some degree of comfort.  It was then that Chris and I took this Memphis adventure head on in the midst of my recovering from chemo treatments (that sounds worse than what it truly was) and the beginning of our marriage with our little Boo.  My state of mind was just do enough to do what is expected and not too much so as to be in the way of anyone.  I have lived my life like that.  It has been my choice.  Somewhere in my mind I have an annoying voice that says that I need to be everything to all people.  It is a voice that I think I have hid behind most of my life.  I have made choices based on the whispers of that part of myself.  

The funny thing is, most of the choices that I have made while ignoring the what if questions, have turned out just fine.  In most cases, ignoring has lead to exciting twists and turns that add a spark and warmness inside that let me know I am living.   That I am not a robot executing expectations.   This is the time of year for resolutions and I have obviously made mine if you read between the lines.  I do this not just for me but for my children who deserve a mom who knows what it is to live for the moment.

Happy New Year